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Tag Archives: One Direction

young and sad

25 Mar

hardertoreachya.jpeg
Now, I guess, I almost sort of regret that I always said Zayn was tied for last as my favorite member of One Direction. Because I realize that without him, without Liam, even, the band does not exist. I mean, it does, technically, but not in the way it did, the way it should, or ever will again. And I’m closer to thirty than I am to sixteen so maybe they’re not as much mine as maybe NSYNC should have been, but no. They are. And I’m young and sad, and it’s heartbreaking to see them separate.

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just said less

22 Mar

I worry all the time that my life narrative won’t make sense if I don’t write down now what I’m feeling and what I think about how I feel and what I think I should feel about that. But when I’m tired or lazy, or when I miss a day of blogging when I thought I wouldn’t, I like to zoom out a little, take a step back and remember that I wouldn’t have liked myself very much anyway if when I’m forty-two I find journals from my twenties and read that I’m unsatisfied with my job, I spent the weekend watching Netflix, and I’m too emotionally invested in One Direction as a quintet to dwell much on Zayn’s hiatus. So, I mean, it wouldn’t be terrible if I just said less.

don’t even like her

29 Jan

Just tired of myself, mostly. I should probably run or do something invigorating/productive to stop from feeling so irritated, but anything involving standing is almost too much to bear. A lot of it is only me being a real brat, incapable of doing what I think I should because I think I should, but the rest of it is typical Sad Girl/Seventeen At Twenty-Five stuff I don’t want to talk about with anyone except twenty-something-year-old One Direction fangirls on Tumblr. Whatever, though. I put my hair in a high pony for the first time since I was working out every other day for two weeks earlier this year, and I’m already feeling 0.2% better.

trying to be motivational, kind of

11 Jan

Five hours of work today. I can do this, I can do this, I can get something done, I can go home, I can put on a little more eye makeup and see if anyone wants to go anywhere to eat, to drink a margarita, to go to Target or somewhere so I can buy cheap nail polish and a box of microwave popcorn.

Also, an update on my relationship with One Direction:IT IS OUT OF CONTROL. Have you seen the Kiss You music video? I mean, come on. Even Liam is starting to almost look good.

still christmas

25 Dec

It’s still Christmas in Hawaii, and the front page of Google is normal again. I don’t like it. I don’t like that it’s trying to get me to move on already. I’m not ready to move on. I’m not ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up at seven-thirty this morning because Zuko was meowing in my ear and walking on my face, and I thought I’d just stay up like I’d know to do if I was ten. So I played a couple of games on my phone before brushing my teeth and taking the floor in front of my mirror to apply my holiday makeup which is really no different from my everyday makeup even though I’ve watched at least four Christmas makeup tutorials this past month, except for the gold bits on the center of my lids that I wear over the brown any time I think I could be more festive. And I was complimented on my hair, like, three times in the past two days, and if it keeps up I really think it will have negative effects on my low self esteem. And Mom got me the expensive pens I love. And season one of Homeland to watch again. And Daniel gave me the music I asked for, and more, and a really cute page of coupons of which I will most definitely take advantage. And tomorrow is my birthday. And I like food and One Direction.

breakfast for dinner

9 Dec

What I would love right now is to be a white girl with perfect skin and a British accent and lots of cute/weird English things to say to my especially dashing beau. I would also love for the weather to be cold enough for me to wear layers of pretty clothes under a warm and still-fashionable coat, tights, and boots. I would love to not worry that there’s work in the morning and find myself somewhere in the city eating breakfast foods for dinner followed by a very Christmasy slice of cherry pie. I would also love to have tickets to see One Direction.

got my own life

2 Dec

I don’t know when I’m going to start making my life more interesting like I always say. Because I’m actually, generally, mostly, really fine just lying on the floor in my room listening to One Direction which started as a joke in April but quickly became less and less jokey and more a hardly-sarcastic swoon toward Harry. And Niall. Sometimes Zayn. Mostly Harry.
And the winter finale for Revenge is on in fifteen minutes, so I don’t have time to be out in sparkly dresses, boots, and tights, or whatever it is people wear outside of work, trying to think of something clever to say, something that maybe isn’t about how badly I miss Harry Potter or the amount of people reblogging girls in crop tops or lyrics to 1D on Tumblr.