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party and party and yeah

20 Mar

It’s finally Friday and I have no plans except to lie on the couch with Daniel and pizza and maybe a Criminal Minds marathon on Netflix. I’ve been looking forward to this all week. I look forward to it every day it’s not the weekend. School was much of the same. If I ever reach it, I wonder what retirement will be like.

Maybe someday I’ll have an excuse for why my blog has been so lame.

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not the first thing

19 Mar

Somewhere in the closet there are two little squares on which I’d been meaning to paint since January. I don’t actually know the first thing about watercolors.

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purplish blue

18 Mar

in the office, it’s cold. i’m cold and there’s four hours left. the beds of my nails turn a purplish blue and i wonder if it’s the light or if i’m really dying. i can still taste the garlic on my tongue from the sandwich i ate at lunch, and its hour-old flavor is nauseating. i sip water and i nibble on sweet tarts to pass the time, but it moves as if i’m watching it, as if it knows how badly i need it to hurry.

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pinch you

17 Mar

i wore green today because it’s what you’re supposed to do, but outside of the apartment, i never wanted anyone to see me and the clothes i was wearing. in school, people would say it’s lucky i’m wearing green because they’d have to pinch me if i wasn’t, and i always thought that was dumb. no one really says anything about it now. no one said it to me today. that’s the way it should be. but it doesn’t mean i never worried that some jerk would comment on my being good and following the rules, because it’s st. patrick’s day, and on st. patrick’s day, you wear green.

also, i don’t really care about it that much. i just feel weird when people see me. i don’t care. i don’t. do i sound mad? i’m not.

look

16 Mar

When I was younger and intentionally fascinated with things that would make my mother cringe, I would take her old sewing needles and thread them through a thin layer of skin on my fingers and tell her to look.

weekends like this

15 Mar

The sun has already set on our weekend. Daniel’s working on his computer next to me, and Zuko is pawing around our desk trying to make us notice her. Along with a cool March breeze, shouts and laughter from the kids in the pool downstairs travel through our open jalousies. Dinner is ready, cooling on the stove top, and I’m tired. It’ll be another long week, but if I can expect weekends like this to follow, I think I’ll be okay.

but we didn’t have pie

14 Mar

imageMy night, basically.