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a thanksgiving list

23 Nov

Here is a Thanksgiving list of ten of my favorite things in no particular order, maybe:

10. Watercolor. I’ve been painting a lot lately. I have an Etsy shop now, and I’ve made four sales! If I decide to sell it, my November work will be listed some time next month. Though it flatters me to be commissioned, it’s not one of my favorite things. The pressure of specific peoples’ expectations is tremendous!

9. Fall. I love Fall. Winter used to be my favorite season, but I realize now that Fall is so much better. It’s all the buildup of the Christmas season and none of the letdown. New Year’s Day is probably the most depressing holiday.

8. Netflix. TV with no commercials is my favorite kind of TV. It bugs me that I can’t catch the next season of Showtime’s Homeland on Netflix and that it only has the first season of Jane the Virgin, but in two days the world will be blessed with four more extra long episodes of Gilmore Girls, and that makes up for a lot. Also, I’m noticing that all of my favorite things so far have ended with a slightly negative comment, but I have to share now that I’ve been having, like, real anxiety about the new Gilmore Girls. First, it’s going to end. Again. Second, it will be different. It has to be, right? And I’m worried it will feel different and I’ll feel separate from it. A separate I’ve never felt with them before. Ugh. But I’m still mostly excited.

7. The Internet. I wish that the Internet was what it is now when I was in high school. I feel like I could have been better. With today’s Internet then, I could have cared less about being liked. I mean, I still would have cared, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I felt disliked, because there would have been a lot of people online who thought I was cool for it, I think. If they were there when I was in high school, there was still too big a chance they were Internet creepos Degrassi taught me to avoid.

6. Bubble Tea. Boba is good. I probably drink/eat too much of it. Bubble tea has been my special treat for, like, two years straight. Maybe three. We should get together some time and spend approximately fifteen minutes chatting over boba, kay?

5. My church. I like my church a lot. I feel like I could spend more time there than I do. It’s pretty much Christmastime, and it’s always so beautiful then. There’s always something more I could be doing to get involved and be closer to God, in general. That’s all.

4. Date nights! Daniel and I had the most amazing date last weekend. Time alone together now is extremely rare, so it is so wonderful when we get it and can truly connect. Also, the food was so good AND we got bubble tea after.

3. People. Sort of. I know most of the time it seems I’m trying to avoid them, and I am, but there are a small few I actually really like. I cancel plans, take too long to reply to text messages, and I’m a terrible friend. Still, these are the people in my life with whom I feel pretty close.

2. Milo. You know. He knows.

1. Daniel, duh. He’s so patient and kind and loving when I’m too often terse and annoyed. It is not lost on me how incredibly lucky I am to have been married to this man for three years!

 

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all guilty of something

24 Mar

we’d seen a lot of episodes before. bits and pieces throughout the series. don’t usually feel i should like a show until i’ve seen it from the beginning. every episode. in order. because i’m tired and i’ve been tired all month, after completing the first season in criminal minds, i have only common and expected comments, i think. the first of which is that i now want to be in the behavioral analysis unit. i want to be a profiler in the BAU, and i want to figure you out. i thought i didn’t like elle, but i think i like her now. she’s strong and brave, and i appreciate that. in one of the episodes in the middle of the first season, she had bangs that i did not like, but they were gone by the next episode and her eyeliner is always pretty good. spencer reid is the best, and everyone knows it. jennifer jareau is not my favorite, not at all, and i’m not sure if my mind can be changed about her. and jason gideon does have kind eyes. my favorite episode this season was “riding the lightning,” and this is the end of my season one review.

but we didn’t have pie

14 Mar

imageMy night, basically.

and i probably need a hair dryer

10 Mar

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If I’ve been typing for the past hour and my screen is blank now, anything I’ll write today will be too dumb to read.  In January I knew that by now I’d be drawing different girls, writing the same things, bored with Wolf and trying to be his friend, and graduated to a new list of unnecessary worries. Like, how many forevers will it take us to watch ten seasons of Criminal Minds on Netflix? And should I even bother with Revenge again? And, if I really hate shopping and I hate all my clothes, can I just as effectively procure a new wardrobe online? Also, should I buy more new pens?

 

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whine about it

30 Dec

Apparently today or tomorrow is my fourth WordPress anniversary, so in the spirit of celebration, I’m going to get really angry at myself for no reason and pretend that I am a robot that only speaks in single syllables and only when asked a question. To celebrate. Because that might be what a four year-old would do. Nothing interesting happened today besides my noticing the resemblance between adult Simba from the Lion King and Supernatural’s Sam Winchester and then googling “simba sam winchester” to see that others have already agreed. But apart from that, it was a normal day. Almost can’t stand that a New Year will begin this week and the entire world thinks this would be a good time to be good again. Kind of prefer we all sit around stewing for another month, just because.

still christmas

25 Dec

It’s still Christmas in Hawaii, and the front page of Google is normal again. I don’t like it. I don’t like that it’s trying to get me to move on already. I’m not ready to move on. I’m not ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up at seven-thirty this morning because Zuko was meowing in my ear and walking on my face, and I thought I’d just stay up like I’d know to do if I was ten. So I played a couple of games on my phone before brushing my teeth and taking the floor in front of my mirror to apply my holiday makeup which is really no different from my everyday makeup even though I’ve watched at least four Christmas makeup tutorials this past month, except for the gold bits on the center of my lids that I wear over the brown any time I think I could be more festive. And I was complimented on my hair, like, three times in the past two days, and if it keeps up I really think it will have negative effects on my low self esteem. And Mom got me the expensive pens I love. And season one of Homeland to watch again. And Daniel gave me the music I asked for, and more, and a really cute page of coupons of which I will most definitely take advantage. And tomorrow is my birthday. And I like food and One Direction.

so, target?

20 Dec

Last night Dad and I were sitting together in the living room watching the news about Victoria Soto’s funeral, and I said, “I could be a famous writer if I died that way.” And it was really stupid, and I knew it right away. It was one of those things that I should write in my most private journal and always be terribly ashamed of when I come across it again or when I remember Sandy Hook and the people it affected so tragically or think of how very awful I am at keeping my narcissism quiet. But I said it, out loud, and it hung in the air for a few seconds before he asked why and when I tried to answer, tried to think of a clever way I could have been misunderstood, he responded by saying that it would be better to be famous a long time and then die, which is true. And I was glad that it was dark and that Daniel walked through the door. “So, Target?” I asked. And then we left.