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a thanksgiving list

23 Nov

Here is a Thanksgiving list of ten of my favorite things in no particular order, maybe:

10. Watercolor. I’ve been painting a lot lately. I have an Etsy shop now, and I’ve made four sales! If I decide to sell it, my November work will be listed some time next month. Though it flatters me to be commissioned, it’s not one of my favorite things. The pressure of specific peoples’ expectations is tremendous!

9. Fall. I love Fall. Winter used to be my favorite season, but I realize now that Fall is so much better. It’s all the buildup of the Christmas season and none of the letdown. New Year’s Day is probably the most depressing holiday.

8. Netflix. TV with no commercials is my favorite kind of TV. It bugs me that I can’t catch the next season of Showtime’s Homeland on Netflix and that it only has the first season of Jane the Virgin, but in two days the world will be blessed with four more extra long episodes of Gilmore Girls, and that makes up for a lot. Also, I’m noticing that all of my favorite things so far have ended with a slightly negative comment, but I have to share now that I’ve been having, like, real anxiety about the new Gilmore Girls. First, it’s going to end. Again. Second, it will be different. It has to be, right? And I’m worried it will feel different and I’ll feel separate from it. A separate I’ve never felt with them before. Ugh. But I’m still mostly excited.

7. The Internet. I wish that the Internet was what it is now when I was in high school. I feel like I could have been better. With today’s Internet then, I could have cared less about being liked. I mean, I still would have cared, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I felt disliked, because there would have been a lot of people online who thought I was cool for it, I think. If they were there when I was in high school, there was still too big a chance they were Internet creepos Degrassi taught me to avoid.

6. Bubble Tea. Boba is good. I probably drink/eat too much of it. Bubble tea has been my special treat for, like, two years straight. Maybe three. We should get together some time and spend approximately fifteen minutes chatting over boba, kay?

5. My church. I like my church a lot. I feel like I could spend more time there than I do. It’s pretty much Christmastime, and it’s always so beautiful then. There’s always something more I could be doing to get involved and be closer to God, in general. That’s all.

4. Date nights! Daniel and I had the most amazing date last weekend. Time alone together now is extremely rare, so it is so wonderful when we get it and can truly connect. Also, the food was so good AND we got bubble tea after.

3. People. Sort of. I know most of the time it seems I’m trying to avoid them, and I am, but there are a small few I actually really like. I cancel plans, take too long to reply to text messages, and I’m a terrible friend. Still, these are the people in my life with whom I feel pretty close.

2. Milo. You know. He knows.

1. Daniel, duh. He’s so patient and kind and loving when I’m too often terse and annoyed. It is not lost on me how incredibly lucky I am to have been married to this man for three years!



warm and toasty

23 Mar

03232015blueberry waffles

breaking blouse

6 Mar

the friday five

1. This is an idea I stole from Sarah Dessen who used to do this on Fridays, but hasn’t since 2013, I think. She writes books, a lot of books, and she has kids, so she’s probably pretty busy. It wasn’t long ago that I wanted to write books for teens. YA was, like, my thing and I was excited about that. I think I can still relate to teenagers pretty well, but I just don’t have the guts to write something I’d want seventeen year-olds reading. (Also, I don’t have the willpower to finish a novel. ALSO, I really want to write super depressing adult things, and if a teen reads it, it’ll probably seem dumb/make things worse.

2. Daniel’s scrolling through Yelp on his phone for dinner ideas. There aren’t many places I’m okay being at on a Friday night, so I’m constantly scrunching my face at his suggestions and asking that we go another time instead. But I honestly think I’m saving him the trouble of driving there and deciding for himself that THESE CROWDS ARE TOO MUCH. So, you’re welcome, Daniel. And yes, I would be okay with picking up sushi from that little place down the road and watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix tonight. In our underwear.

3. My go-to simple black blouse is breaking. There’s an almost-hole just to the right of my belly button, and I’m going to cry! Okay. I’m not going to cry. I might be a little upset for a while and complain about all the other simple black blouses I’ll buy online to replace it and inevitably shove in the back of my dresser when it doesn’t fit me like my old one, but I’m not going to cry about clothes. Not unless there’s nothing else to wear and everything makes me look so friggin ugly. But I don’t know what to do about this. I really don’t.

4. I am now the owner of a 40-ounce Hydro Flask. HOLY MOLY it’s big! I didn’t realize I wasn’t getting the same size as everyone else. On my walk up the hill to work today, I had it tucked beneath my arm in my little blue tote bag, and I felt ridiculous. Maybe I should buy a backpack now. It’s just so big, and it makes me feel so small… I’m just super self-conscious about it, but I’m definitely not thirsty. So, that’s good, right?

5. And here’s a little doodle face: 03062015

just not completely terrible

4 Mar

Daniel took me out for pho last night, and it was delicious and wonderful and just what I needed. We came home to the Ultimate Couch Bed we made last weekend when we rented Gone Girl (brilliant, perfect, amazing, love love love) and watched an episode of Fixer Upper on HGTV before crawling into bed and balancing body temperatures. I’m hesitant to say that today was good, because I know how quickly it can still turn awful. For the most part, my hair was cooperative. Not fancy or beautiful by any means, just not completely terrible, which I consider a win. I can breathe through both my nostrils today, and I feel more awake than I’ve felt all week. Maybe the cold has passed. I celebrated with a $3 bag of li hing gummy bears to eat at my desk with chopsticks and some music while I reconciled month-end reports for work with all the colored highlighters Buffalo bequeathed me when she left. I saw Wolf today wearing that sweater I said was nice, and he was kind, helpful, and much appreciated. I guess it’s pretty safe to say that today was definitely not bad. For dinner, Daniel and I are making something chicken cacciatore-ish. Except for that one time when we had only three ingredients and it tasted dreadful, it usually turns out pretty good. Mom always said I needed to help in the kitchen to learn how to cook. I don’t think I was ever much help, but I watched her, and I learned from her, and I’m not so great at following recipes now either, but I think it tastes okay!

congested ramblings

3 Mar

Sitting at my desk with a mug to my face and too many hours left in the workday to even count, I contemplate pho for dinner, or something warm and comforting. If I’m coming down with a cold, I hope it passes soon. It’s in my nose now. My voice is tired and hoarse enough that I’ll send emails instead of phone Rob downstairs, who reads my blog now and will say something about this. I wonder what he knows, what anyone knows, or how private a person I really am if I document my life like this online. And it’s fine. I mean, it only bothers me that no one else I know writes about the minutiae of each day like I do, like we all used to on Xanga after school while sitting on AIM waiting for specific someones to say hey, just hey, and not worry that when he does, you’ll have to think of something more to say. I bought a Hydro Flask the other night, and it will be here by the end of the week. I’m concerned about carrying it and what it means that I will, that I have one now, and it’s really not important to me that my water is cold.

days like these

22 Feb


Went out for lunch and bubble tea with the family today, and came home to play with watercolors, shower early, and watch Netflix. Wish more days were like this.



4 Feb


The days have been really long at work and really short out of work, and maybe I’m just overwhelmed, but is everything sucking for everyone else too? I haven’t cooked a proper meal all week, and I feel more tired than usual. People feel farther from me than they normally do, and all the sounds are sort of muffled. Without looking through my string of text messages, I can’t tell the days apart. On Monday I got rained on. Spent eleven hours at work. Tuesday, I told Fireman about Go Set A Watchman. He didn’t say we’d hang out, just that he hadn’t forgotten we might. That makes today Wednesday, the most mixed-up of them all. I set out some chicken and mushrooms to cook for dinner. And Daniel and I will eat a salad. So, I’m not entirely hopeless. But in one minute after walking through the door, I was in sweatpants and shoveling chocolate into my face–chocolate that says Believe in yourself, and intends for it to, like, mean something to me in this moment. Well, it doesn’t. And I don’t appreciate the effort right now.