too young to feel this old

10 Jan

Been listening to a bunch of rock star jerks on the radio to feel better about myself or to feel alright being terrible. found a surprisingly familiar comfort in dirty boots, bar fights, and bloody lips on ornery men. Thought I’d probably be okay driving into the sunset a wild-haired soulless asshole myself, only partly because it seems such a beautifully awful thing to do. But mainly because if I were to break apart, I’d want to make it fast and fiery, a wholly inescapable wreck. I almost regret knowing God’s plans for me are for greater purposes than an artful self-annihilation. Almost can’t stand that his love would prevent a perfect implosion.


3 Responses to “too young to feel this old”

  1. justinaluther January 10, 2015 at 6:31 pm #

    But imagine how amazing it will be when this storm passes and you come into the fulness of His plan for you.

    • jenibo January 11, 2015 at 9:38 pm #

      This is true. I need to consciously remind myself of this ALL THE TIME.

      • justinaluther January 12, 2015 at 7:03 am #

        We all go through places when we need that reminder. (-: You’re not alone. Find someone you trust and respect and try opening up to them a little. If you find you’re safe with them, then open up a little more. The key is not to go through these things alone. That’s when they seem like they’ll never end and there’s no way out.

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