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crustaceans

15 Oct

Taking to the beach at night with a flashlight and a bucket is one of my old and surprising pastimes. I like to use my hands when we go crabbing, diving into the night, crushing abandoned sandcastles barefoot. The waves seem louder when it’s dark, when it’s cold, when we’re huddled together behind a beam of light looking for movement behind little mounds of sand. I run, and I dive, and I want the big ones, the ones with strong claws, the ones that will make me seem braver and stronger than I am when it’s light, when I’m hiding in my towel on the shore trying to be invisible. When I have to, I follow the crabs into the dark ahead. I’m fearless and I want this, and I want everyone to see that I can. With my hands. My bare little girl hands.

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