hey, magician

26 Aug

When I was fifteen, I spent a lot of time on the phone and online with boys. But it wasn’t anything romantic. I mean, I had crushes on, like, three of them, but until someone showed interest, I could play it cool. I could be A Friend to everyone. During our sophomore year in high school, it was completely natural and expected, even, that if a boy was to express non-platonic interest in me, he’d do it over AIM. This was long before Daniel. Quite some time before The X. Even before Fireman. In a conversation that I’m pretty sure I saved and printed the morning after, I confessed to one of my friends, a boy we’ll call Magician, that yes, I like you too. According to my old Xanga entries, several days passed between Confession Night and Officially Together where I typed silly things like “What now?” and expected him to propose that I be his girlfriend under a string of twinkling lights with my Lillix CD playing “Promises” in the background suggesting that he swear to me right now that we’ll be together forever. After consulting my journals* for the details, I remember how Officially Together happened. We were talking about the difference between dating and going out, which I’m not entirely sure are two different things. (Also which reminds me of Explorer! But that’s another story.) And then, over AIM, amidst some really cringe-worthy flirting from the both of us, he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend, and I said yes. The next night we went to the movies where we saw Johnny English with four other guys. I taped my ticket stub to a page in my journal next to an arrow and some text reading “Our First Real Date!” Magician had me when I thought I’d live forever, when I didn’t mind eighty-eight minutes of Not That Funny, when I clearly had no idea what a date was.

*For some reason, I feel it’s really important that these accounts be true** and accurate. I have sources. I fact-check. I am aware of how nerdy this is.
** The truth as it was to me is not necessarily Truth to others. But you knew that.


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