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puns

8 Aug

When I’m scrolling through my Twitter-feed, I see plenty of opportunity to reply to tweets with puns. I used to act upon these occasions, but I’ve since grown tired of it. I think I’m too old for this. I think that even if I’m not, I will become old and annoy everyone with my bad jokes. I really don’t want that.
They’re not puns, but while we’re talking about words, I wanted to tell you about mine. When I’m drunk, I’m ninety-two percent more likely to speak in sentences that are fifty-seven percent portmanteau. (When I’m not drunk, I’m eighty-six percent more likely to throw around super-fake percentages and numbers that are actually far too mathy for me to understand.) There’s probably a better English word for it, like blends or something, but I like portmanteau. I’ve grown up with portmanteau. I’m trying to remember the word portmanteau about thirty-four percent of the time I’m making up blended words. Anyway, like I was saying, when I’m drunk I am a fantastic linguist. I would like to speak about this with a couple of friends over some li hing margaritas as soon as we can.

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