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double date

1 Jun

One of my least favorite feelings is Friday slipping away–Friday, still home at nine p.m. Friday in front of the computer in a dark room, not even watching How I Met Your Mother. Why would I do that? It’s six o’clock now. There is hope. I woke up for work this morning, and felt so much like sleeping again that I couldn’t imagine getting through another day in the office. The next two weeks will be hellish, so trying not to let my anxieties suffocate me completely is an hourly battle. I have to remind myself that driving downtown or talking to customers on the phone is not quite as bad as a bullet in my left lung. And I’d probably rather be at work than have a bullet in my left lung. I mean, I could die by a bullet, but work is less likely to kill me. So. Focus. Focus on that. And if I tell that to myself often, every other minute kind of often, I might survive. Anyway, I will try to stop writing so much about work.

I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother before work this morning, and I liked that Ted went on a date with a girl named Jen. That’s my name. I also liked that the girl was nice and not weird or crazy except that she talked a little too much of her cats. I liked that she and Ted both agreed that they weren’t right for each other, and no one was hurt. I like when characters in shows talk to other characters with my name, because if it’s a show I like with main characters I like, I’ve imagined them as my friends, and when I hear them say my name, I know how it sounds if they were addressing me.

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