let’s do the math

31 Mar

Now that it is March 31st, I feel inclined to say that the first three months of 2012 have flown by. Because now, of course, I can look back on it all and feel that January was not so long ago, even if, at the time, the month seemed to drag on forever. On the first of January, instead of New Year’s resolutions, I made a list of tri-monthly goals. Because tomorrow marks the first of the fourth month, an evaluation of the first three are in order.

My calculations tell me that the percentage of goals completed in the past three months can be found by dividing four by seven. (I’m an artist, not a mathematician.) Let’s start with the positive.
I’ve completed one short story. You might have read it. I’m not proud of it, but it’s done. And now we can move on.
I’ve begun reading A Series of Unfortunate Events. They are children’s books and quick and easy, but I am only about five-sixths of the way through the first book. I like it so far, and I will continue.
I’ve been driving more. Well, I haven’t been avoiding it quite as often. I am comfortable driving the company cars around Kaneohe and Kailua, but I am still wary of venturing toward town for a work-related errand.
Finally, I have completed my goal of continuing to eat without obsessing over the circumference of my thighs. I think this should be a goal for life. Food is good.

The three goals that I don’t feel have been met in January through March, are as follows:
Finish reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I’ve read other books. I just didn’t have the time to be emotional about Harry Potter. I miss my wizard friends so much, and reading about them still makes me a little misty. I just need time, okay?
Spend more time with friends. At least once, I’ve seen the people I really care about. And that’s who I meant when I said friends, but when I said more time, I was picturing a little more. Still, I can’t say I’ve been all that lonely lately. I’m just really content being with the people who pass through this house and that little townhouse in Lake Oswego.
And go back to church. I–I really have no excuse for this one. I know I should. God’s been so nice to me lately, and I pretty much only reach out to him every other week when we’re both on Facebook at the same time. I shoot him a message like, “Hey! What’s up?”
And He’s all, “Not much. Just chilling. When are we going to hang out?”
And I’m like, “I don’t know. Sorry. I’ve just been really busy.”
And he tries to stay cool, but I can tell that he’s sort of bummed that we’re so distant now. Then there’s like this awkward silence because instead of talking about the weather or the spring finale of Switched At Birth, he straight out asks me if we’re still friends. And I want to tell him yeah, like, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if I had unfriended you because my Facebook settings are all private. But I know that I only check his profile when someone else tags him in a photo or when he checks-in at Bubbies, or something, for dessert with my other friends. And I sometimes wonder if I just want to hang out with him to get close to his friends, because they all seem so much nicer and smarter and cooler than me. So, like, are we still friends? I kind of miss him too, but sometimes he gets on my nerves and those guys that don’t think he’s such a good guy get all on my case when we’re together, and it just really gets me down. Like, why do I want to be friends with a guy with so many enemies? It’s just a lot of trouble sometimes. But he kind of went through a lot of trouble for me, too. So, I guess I owe it to him to at least answer his text messages during the weekend. Maybe we can be friends again. He is a good guy.



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