hiding at the bottom of your swimming pool some september

22 Jan

What I would really like right now is to be at an airport with a fully charged phone, a backpack full of snacks, pens, new music on my Zune, and a suitcase I’m certain has everything I need to enjoy a week, at least, away from home. I’m bored of Hawaii. I want to see wide open spaces. I want to see land for miles and miles. I want everything to be new again.

I don’t like that I am so often dissatisfied with Things. I should or I could, maybe, find a way to be content. But for now, I am not. And I want only to find something to satisfy me now. Like a ticket to New Orleans, or something. Yeah. That would be nice.

It starts in my stomach as a slow churning. It makes me nauseated and sleepy. So I find a comfortable spot on my bed, there’s really only one, and I sleep. I sleep, and I sleep, and I wake up with my face in my pillow, and I sleep, and sleep some more. Some time later, I can’t sleep anymore. So I stay awake. I sit in a chair at the dining table and I dream of places I would rather be. I sit in front of a computer at work, and I dream of flying far away. Then my bones get restless. It feels as if they are hardening, and they’ll break soon from the pressure of lethargy. Soon, I believe that my brain is calcifying, or whatever brains do before they explode, and then it does. And I fall asleep again.


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