god love your soul and your aching bones

22 Aug

It turns out that both my kitties are female. Zuko, if you ever read this, I’m sorry I called you a boy. I’m sitting in a dimly lit room in the front corner of my house. The kittens are in cages tonight, because earlier this evening, they got the dreaded operation. I’m going to cry. I mean, later tonight, when I crawl into my bed and no one else is around, I’m going to cry and pray that Zuko and Suki feel better in the morning, eat, and don’t hate me for allowing this to happen. Throughout my life, I’ve had many cats. They lived outside and were never fixed. If I went out and bought a cat from the pet store, then I’d feel morally obligated to prevent my cat from having babies we could not support ourselves. But I’ve never had that kind of cat. And I don’t feel bad for letting nature run its course with the cats nature (not the pet store) provided me with. Although Zuko and Suki are not store-bought, the person who gave them to us must have felt morally obligated to fix them, because before I even knew the kittens, they had an appointment. I cannot stand to hear them cry and stumble around in their cages. I want to hold them and make them feel safe and warm, but the most I can do is let them know I am here and hope they know how much I care.

I’m distracted. I’ll be back tomorrow with a better update.


One Response to “god love your soul and your aching bones”

  1. ssunaoka August 24, 2010 at 11:34 am #

    Aww, sorry. I’m glad you’re still being a responsible pet owner and are following through to get your cats fixed. I’m sure just being near them is helping them heal.

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