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looked like a diamond ring

1 Aug

In the case that I want to participate in BEDA (Blog Every Day in August), I am blogging today.

You’re probably sick of reading about my struggles in this life to break out of my shell and be the person I know I should be. I’m sick of writing about it, but I sort of have to. I feel like a jerk, because I know there are bigger things happening in other peoples’ lives. And although I care (more than anyone will know), from the outside, I will only seem preoccupied with myself until I’m well again.

I keep thinking there was a time before this when I was fine. And that maybe, if I could pinpoint the moment everything changed, I could devote the rest of my life to building a time machine that would send me back and allow me a redo. If that doesn’t work out, I will decide whether to erase peoples’ memories of me and start from scratch or break into their dreams and plant the idea in their subconscious that I am much more interesting than they’ve thought before.

sigh. I feel so far away.

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3 Responses to “looked like a diamond ring”

  1. Chris K. August 1, 2010 at 11:04 pm #

    oi jen. shut up. i for one am not tired of reading about your struggles. its nice because your pretty quiet from what i remember about u..and you expressed much about yourself and whats on your mind thru your writing. SO..considering that its an outlet for whats goin on inside of you..i don’t get tired of reading it. atleast your not all : wah wah wah this boy doesn’t like me. oh vampires are hot..EDWARD OHHHH EDWARD.etc. :). but..vampires are still pretty cool :D.

  2. Jeremy August 2, 2010 at 7:28 pm #

    Hey there! Found you in the comments of Hayley’s blog. I commend you for doing BEDA, there’s no way I have the discipline to do it, haha.

    Although I don’t know you personally (I don’t even know how old you are), lemme just leave you with this: Take little steps. Focus on where you are and where you want to be. Think about how to get there. Break it down to it’s components. Take things one aspect at a time.

    You’re young and free and just know that people DO change.

    P.S. Awesome blog title! I instantly recognized it. I love Jack’s Mannequin. 🙂

  3. ssunaoka August 6, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    I still don’t understand who you think you should be. What’s wrong with who you are now?

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