a little grace, a little faith unfurled

1 Mar

Hello, March.

It’s a chilly night, and I’m sitting at the dining room table in Daniel’s jacket. I’m listening to my Lady Antebellum playlist, and I’m thinking that March is going to be a good month. I hope it’s not just the music making me feel all warm and fuzzy, because with all that’s going to happen these next few weeks, I’m going to need this good feeling.

Today is the first day of my One Wish Challenge project. My first randomly selected challenge is from my ex-boyfriend’s mother. She was nice. Probably still is. Basically, the challenge is to pay a stranger a compliment. I think it’s a good one to kick off my mission. It’s not something I would do normally, but it’s definitely doable. I’m looking forward to it.

So, I may or may not be going on a mission trip to Japan with some people from church. We got an estimate of the price tonight, and it would take a big chunk out of my savings, but I’m thinking it may be worth it. If I decide to go, there are fundraisers and other ways I could gather funds for the trip. I think the main thing holding me back from deciding now that I will go, is my extremely small comfort zone. If I go, I’d be expected to talk to people. I’d be expected to share God’s love to others through actual words. I’d be expected to share my testimony. Multiple times. I may even be expected to pray. Aloud. The thought alone makes my stomach turn.
Daniel isn’t going to be there, too. I’d be forced to stand on my own, and though it sounds simple enough, it would be one of the most difficult tasks for me to complete.
I should pray more about it, and see if Japan is someplace God really wants me to go to. Part of me hopes that He’d rather I stay home, but most of me feels that the Japan mission is His challenge to me in response to my One Wish project. Why, God? Why???


2 Responses to “a little grace, a little faith unfurled”

  1. a friend of a friend March 1, 2010 at 11:25 pm #

    ever heard the story of the guy on his roof during a flood who refuses help from passing boats several times because he says he’s waiting for god to help…

    you’re looking for life-altering experiences, yet are unsure whether to go on a trip to japan. thinking you should start small will only lead to small change. start believing you’re capable of more and you will be.

  2. jols March 3, 2010 at 9:46 pm #

    jen, i completely agree with the anonymous stranger.

    a little grace and a little faith is really all you need. elisha sold all of his cows (his livelyhood) to follow and learn under elijah, which is basically equivalent to quitting your job and following your pastor through the wilderness for the rest of your life. god’s probably not calling you to do that (or maybe he is? idk) but just remember god calls you to do things when you’re ready to do them, not when YOU think you’re ready to do them.

    as mike kai said at a conference i went to this past week, “go with what you got because what you have is all you need.” you’re not the one who’s gonna make yourself bolder, god is.

    and money will be no object.

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