let’s catch up

17 Jan

Since my eye appointment in October, I’ve been getting migraines about once a month. Up from maybe two times a year, this is a lot. Too many. I’ll mention it at my next doctor appointment in February. Besides living in fear of that dreaded aura signaling a possible forty-eight hours of discomfort, things are good. How are things with you?

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a thanksgiving list

23 Nov

Here is a Thanksgiving list of ten of my favorite things in no particular order, maybe:

10. Watercolor. I’ve been painting a lot lately. I have an Etsy shop now, and I’ve made four sales! If I decide to sell it, my November work will be listed some time next month. Though it flatters me to be commissioned, it’s not one of my favorite things. The pressure of specific peoples’ expectations is tremendous!

9. Fall. I love Fall. Winter used to be my favorite season, but I realize now that Fall is so much better. It’s all the buildup of the Christmas season and none of the letdown. New Year’s Day is probably the most depressing holiday.

8. Netflix. TV with no commercials is my favorite kind of TV. It bugs me that I can’t catch the next season of Showtime’s Homeland on Netflix and that it only has the first season of Jane the Virgin, but in two days the world will be blessed with four more extra long episodes of Gilmore Girls, and that makes up for a lot. Also, I’m noticing that all of my favorite things so far have ended with a slightly negative comment, but I have to share now that I’ve been having, like, real anxiety about the new Gilmore Girls. First, it’s going to end. Again. Second, it will be different. It has to be, right? And I’m worried it will feel different and I’ll feel separate from it. A separate I’ve never felt with them before. Ugh. But I’m still mostly excited.

7. The Internet. I wish that the Internet was what it is now when I was in high school. I feel like I could have been better. With today’s Internet then, I could have cared less about being liked. I mean, I still would have cared, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I felt disliked, because there would have been a lot of people online who thought I was cool for it, I think. If they were there when I was in high school, there was still too big a chance they were Internet creepos Degrassi taught me to avoid.

6. Bubble Tea. Boba is good. I probably drink/eat too much of it. Bubble tea has been my special treat for, like, two years straight. Maybe three. We should get together some time and spend approximately fifteen minutes chatting over boba, kay?

5. My church. I like my church a lot. I feel like I could spend more time there than I do. It’s pretty much Christmastime, and it’s always so beautiful then. There’s always something more I could be doing to get involved and be closer to God, in general. That’s all.

4. Date nights! Daniel and I had the most amazing date last weekend. Time alone together now is extremely rare, so it is so wonderful when we get it and can truly connect. Also, the food was so good AND we got bubble tea after.

3. People. Sort of. I know most of the time it seems I’m trying to avoid them, and I am, but there are a small few I actually really like. I cancel plans, take too long to reply to text messages, and I’m a terrible friend. Still, these are the people in my life with whom I feel pretty close.

2. Milo. You know. He knows.

1. Daniel, duh. He’s so patient and kind and loving when I’m too often terse and annoyed. It is not lost on me how incredibly lucky I am to have been married to this man for three years!

 

if you are nice to them

26 Mar

retroblog032620157/10/1999

I learned that being a friend, takes a lot of time and commitment. We always were together. Being a friend is cool. You have to listen to your friends. You have to help them fix their problems. Your friends also will do the same if you are nice to them. You feel safer when you have a friend. It is nice to know that someone counts and you and that you can count on someone too.

young and sad

25 Mar hardertoreachya.jpeg

hardertoreachya.jpeg
Now, I guess, I almost sort of regret that I always said Zayn was tied for last as my favorite member of One Direction. Because I realize that without him, without Liam, even, the band does not exist. I mean, it does, technically, but not in the way it did, the way it should, or ever will again. And I’m closer to thirty than I am to sixteen so maybe they’re not as much mine as maybe NSYNC should have been, but no. They are. And I’m young and sad, and it’s heartbreaking to see them separate.

all guilty of something

24 Mar

we’d seen a lot of episodes before. bits and pieces throughout the series. don’t usually feel i should like a show until i’ve seen it from the beginning. every episode. in order. because i’m tired and i’ve been tired all month, after completing the first season in criminal minds, i have only common and expected comments, i think. the first of which is that i now want to be in the behavioral analysis unit. i want to be a profiler in the BAU, and i want to figure you out. i thought i didn’t like elle, but i think i like her now. she’s strong and brave, and i appreciate that. in one of the episodes in the middle of the first season, she had bangs that i did not like, but they were gone by the next episode and her eyeliner is always pretty good. spencer reid is the best, and everyone knows it. jennifer jareau is not my favorite, not at all, and i’m not sure if my mind can be changed about her. and jason gideon does have kind eyes. my favorite episode this season was “riding the lightning,” and this is the end of my season one review.

warm and toasty

23 Mar

03232015blueberry waffles

just said less

22 Mar

I worry all the time that my life narrative won’t make sense if I don’t write down now what I’m feeling and what I think about how I feel and what I think I should feel about that. But when I’m tired or lazy, or when I miss a day of blogging when I thought I wouldn’t, I like to zoom out a little, take a step back and remember that I wouldn’t have liked myself very much anyway if when I’m forty-two I find journals from my twenties and read that I’m unsatisfied with my job, I spent the weekend watching Netflix, and I’m too emotionally invested in One Direction as a quintet to dwell much on Zayn’s hiatus. So, I mean, it wouldn’t be terrible if I just said less.